Humorous Best Man Speech Essay examples - 1972 Words

Humorous Best Man Speech The hotel management have asked me to ask you not to stand on the tables or chairs during the standing ovation at the end of my speech. Now, I asked around for an idea of how long my speech should last, and the general response was about as long as it takes the groom to make love. So with that in mind, thank you, you have been a wonderful audience. (Sit and then get back up) I think an introduction is worthwhile. For those of you who do not yet know me my name is Whatwouldvouliketodrink. I hope as many of you will come and say hello at the bar later, but I do insist you use my full name. At this point I would like to thank the groom for his kind words. I would also like to add†¦show more content†¦I appreciate that as best man you are required ro write a speech that pokes a certain amount of fun at my future husband, with stories and jokes about his past exploits, but I do want you to remember that this is our wedding day and I dont want something that you might say or do to spoil it. With this in mind, please take note of the following and Im sure well all have a wonderful day: 1. Do not get drunk. 2. Do not use bad language. 3. Do not tell dirty jokes. 4. Do not sing. 5. Do not let the groom sing. 6. Do not mention the grooms little problem 7. Do not let the groom drink tequila. 8. Do not let the groom drink whiskey. 9. Do not let the groom drink. 10. .Finally make sure you keep your clothes on and make sure the groom keeps his clothes on. Love, The bride Now while I cannot promise to keep to each of these demands. I have tried to take the responsibility of best man very seriously indeed. I would like to share with you some of my duties I have been involved with. One of my first tasks was to help get the groom fitted for a kilt. We had arranged to meet up at the kilt hire shop and I was running. a little late so when I arrived he had already chosen a kilt. Whats the tartan? (pronounced Tart-in) I asked to which he answered Oh, I’m pretty sure the bride will be wearing a dress.† Another of my tasks was the potentially delicate duty of keeping the grooms ex-girlfriends out of the way today. Thankfully this hasShow MoreRelated Humorous Best Man Speech Essay1384 Words   |  6 PagesHumorous Best Man Speech Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen. Firstly on behalf of the bridesmaids, I would like to thank the groom for his kind words, and may I also say that they have done a fantastic job today and all of them look absolutely beautiful. Id also like to say that the bride looks absolutely stunning today as I’m sure you will all agree. Unfortunately for the wedding photographs, the groom just looks stunned. When I was asked to be best man I consulted the Internet forRead More Humorous Wedding Speech by the Best Man Essay684 Words   |  3 PagesHumorous Wedding Speech by the Best Man When Daniel came to me and asked me to be his best man, it was a great honour but, when I looked at all the duties required of me, I felt he’d be better off choosing someone else. Then he offered me a fifty, but I told him that it wasn’t a decision that money could change. So then he offered me a hundred. Anyway, good evening Ladies and Gentlemen - My name is Rob and it’s my pleasure to be Daniels best man today. So let me tell you about all thoseRead More Humorous Best Man Speech for Two Best Men Essay1144 Words   |  5 PagesHumorous Best Man Speech Written for Two Best Men Best man 1: Good evening everyone. I must warn you we are both pretty nervous about doing this speech. We have spent many a night awake, trying plan it to no avail. We were both so nervous about doing this speech we asked the groom for some advice on how to prepare for talking to a large audience. Best man 2: So he did. He told us to imagine that you are all naked, so if you dont mind, we are going to give it a go. (Stares, winks at people) Read More Humorous Wedding Speech by the Father of the Groom Essay1000 Words   |  4 PagesHumorous Wedding Speech by the Father of the Groom Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen - I am the grooms father, Ken, and I have the great privilege of being best man. I have recently found out there are two reasons why J W asked me to do this job. 1) To make him look younger and slimmer in the photos. 2) Because he didnt want to burden any of his friends with the terrible prospect of having to give this speech. Its the speech that no one wants to do. The best man doesnt really know whatRead MoreA Commentary on Luckys Monologue in Waiting for Godot1559 Words   |  7 PagesPuncher and Wattmann it is established beyond all doubt that in view of the labors of Fartov and Belcher left unfinished for reasons unknown of Testew and Cunard left unfinished it is established what many deny that man in Possy of Testew and Cunard that man in Essy that man in short that man in brief in spite of the strides of alimentation and defecation wastes and pines wastes and pines wastes and pines and concurrently simultaneously what is more for reasons unknown in spite of the strides of physicalRead MoreA Wedding Speech By The Maid Of Honor And The Best Man1750 Words   |  7 Pageswedding, a wedding speech is given by the maid-of-honor and the best man. These speeches are used to thank the parents for arranging the wedding and the guests for coming. The main purpose of the speech, however, is to wish the newly married couple all the happiness and luck with their marriage. While wishing the couple a happy marriage, the speaker includes anecdotes about the newlyweds, showing how strong the relationship between the bride or groom and the speaker. In Jenna Haas’s speech to Jillian DouwsmaRead More Today’s America Versus World War II America Essay1307 Words   |  6 Pagesculture and society is manifested in, Howie Carr’s â€Å"Take $2000 and Call Me in the Morning† and Ronald Reagan’s speech, â€Å"The Boys of Point du Hoc†. Carr’s â€Å"Take $2000 and Call Me in the Morning† illustrates and criticizes the abuse of legal defense by citizens of the United States of America and how people feel like they are entitled to a lot of things. In contrast to that in Ronald Reagan’s speech, â€Å"The Boys of Point du Hoc† takes us back to a time back in American history where people fought and diedRead More Humorous Wedding Speech – Reasons I Admire the Groom Essay606 Words   |  3 PagesHumorous Wedding Speech – Reasons I Admire the Groom Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen - I’m not an experienced public speaker, so I find it easier just to read the speech word for word. In fact, I’ve practiced it almost daily for about a week and a half now, so that I know it very well. It’s a tip that I read in a book about public speaking. I’ve also been drinking profusely to help calm my pre-speech nerves. I made that tip up myself. Laughter Yes, I am a little nervous about being theRead MoreThe s Virtual Reality Research1686 Words   |  7 PagesAlice software project.2 Randy Pausch gave ‘The Last Lecture’ as a final speech to pass on wisdom that he believed could impact the world, as it was a tradition of retiring professors to do, before leaving Carnegie Mellon University. His speech was titled ‘Really Achieving Your Childhood Dreams’, and he gave this speech on September 18th of 2007 at Carnegie Mellon University. His speech was later turned into a New York Times best selling book1, as well has receiving attention from television programsRead MoreEssay about The Importance of Mercutios Role in Romeo and Juliet1021 Words   |  5 Pagesa specific role. Mercutio, is essential to the play he is the Princes kinsman, but more importantly, he is Romeos best friend and confidant .Although Mercutio is Romeos closest friend he is very jealous of Romeo when Romeo is with other people. Mercutio brings humour and wit to the play which engages the audience. Mercutio is a typical young man of that period in the way that he is an honourable aristocrat, very independent and is free but on the other hand he isnt